Principally Speaking

WHAT KIDS NEED

"The only rock I know that stays steady, the only institution I know that works, is the family."  This quote from Lee Iacocca  sums it all up. Family is the true foundation upon which we build our lives.  

The importance of family can not be overstated.  In this day and age, families come in all shapes and sizes.Gone long ago is the typical nuclear family model. Regardless of the components, all families share a common principle; a strong family is critical to the success of all of its members.

All members of a family play an important role, from the grandparents all the way down to the newborn baby. With that stated, all members of the family have certain needs to be met in order for the family to benefit and stay strong and so all members of the family can develop, grow, and learn.

The Search Institute has done extensive research on families and the assets which make families strong.Their research has shown that, " the more of these Family Assets families experience, the better off family members are. They are more satisfied with their lives, healthier, and more engaged with the community around them. Kids from families with more assets are also more likely to engage in learning at school and develop close relationships with others."

Read through the Family Assets Framework and see how the assets in your family compare.

Nurturing Relationships

Positive communication—Family members listen attentively and speak in respectful ways. Affection—Family members regularly show warmth to each other. Emotional openness—Family members can be themselves and are comfortable sharing their feelings. Support sparks—Family members encourage each other in pursuing their talents and interests.

Establishing Routines

Family meals—Family members eat meals together most days in a typical week. Shared activities—Family members regularly spend time doing everyday activities together. Meaningful traditions—Holidays, rituals, and celebrations are part of family life. Dependability—Family members know what to expect from one another day-to-day.

Maintaining Expectations

Openness about tough topics—Family members openly discuss sensitive issues, such as sex and substance use. Fair rules—Family rules and consequences are reasonable. Defined boundaries—The family sets limits on what young people can do and how they spend their time. Clear expectations—The family openly articulates its expectations for young people. Contributions to family—Family members help meet each other’s needs and share in getting things done.

Adapting to Challenges

Management of daily commitments—Family members effectively navigate competing activities and expectations at home, school, and work. Adaptability—The family adapts well when faced with changes. Problem solving—Family members work together to solve problems and deal with challenges. Democratic decision making—Family members have a say in decisions that affect the family.

Connecting to Community

Neighborhood cohesion—Neighbors look out for one another. Relationships with others—Family members need to feel close to teachers, coaches, and others in the community. Enriching activities—Family members participate in programs and activities that deepen their lives. Supportive resources—Family members have people and places in the community they can turn to for help.

For detailed information about the Family Assests study:


The Search Institute has also put together  a list of  Developmental Assests for Children.  There are a variety of lists covering children from early childhood through adolescents.  These lists are a great resource and worth taking the time to read over!  The lists can be downloaded here, http://www.search-institute.org/developmental-assets/lists  and are available in multiple languages.

As you process through this information, I will leave you with one last quote,
"Family is not an important thing.  It's everything."  -Michael J. Fox